Halves and Wholes
by An Artists Account
Summary: I'm all alone. Because Fred is gone now. He's left this life, left this world. Left me. How I think Fred's funeral would have gone.


**Halves and Wholes**

A small breeze is massaging the back of my neck but it doesn't soothe me. The sun is beaming down but it doesn't warm me. The sky is endless blue but it means something else for me. The flowers are in bloom but they hold no beauty for me.

For me it is endless darkness.

Alone

Alone

Alone

Because he is gone. My other half. Partners in crime. Always together, never apart.

Until now.

Fred was dead and now his twin has to carry on without him.

His twin.

Me.

The sun is shining but I am dead inside.

I can't go on.

The tufty haired wizard at the front is speaking but his words mean nothing to me. Ginny is crying into Harry's neck. He has his arms around her. Mum's in hysterics and Dad's trying to calm her.

It means nothing to me.

I sit there, hands clenched, eyes staring, staring, not seeing.

Fred wouldn't have wanted this.

I clench my fists harder, nails biting into the flesh.

It's my turn to speak.

Somehow I'm on my feet, stumbling towards the podium, unable to look into those faces, full of pity.

Fred wouldn't have wanted this.

I unclench my fingers and grasp my speech. My speech full of things another person has said, what other people want to hear.

Fred wouldn't have wanted this.

I gulp and close my eyes. It stings after the sun and staring.

Pain is good.

It wakes me up.

Darkness is soft.

Don't open them.

_Open them._

I don't think that's my voice.

I open them.

For the first time since the battle I smile. It's not a Weasley grin but it helps.

_That's better._

I hold up my script and let the breeze carry it away.

People are staring but I don't care.

I can feel Fred inside me.

Inside my heart.

He's grinning.

_Go for it._

"Fred and I have always been inseparable. Kicking mum before we were born, terrorizing the neighbours, turning Ron's teddy into a spider that time. Fred always reckoned his left buttock was never the same again."

People titter. Ginny's sitting up, smiling through her tears.

_Go on_

"Hogwarts was one of the best times of our life. I'm not sure if the professors would agree but there you have it."

McGonagall smiles at me from the 3rd row.

"I shall never forget the time we tried to send Harry that toilet seat."

I don't know where the words are coming from.

There's a snort of laughter then a hasty cough.

Harry's trying not to laugh.

I feel whole.

_Tell them of our greatest adventure_

"Our finest hour must have been when we left though. And I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who helped make that toad's life hell."

I nod to Luna, Neville and my sister. They grin and wave back.

"I'm not going to say I loved him for his morals and patience because he didn't have any."

Laughter is ringing out now, echoing around the garden.

Fred would have wanted this.

"We were twins, brothers, partners in crime. I loved him for his laugh, for his humour, his ability to make anyone smile. We played so many jokes. We got Filch a grand total of 12,346 times. We were not successful an amazing total of 134,978 times but who's counting?"

Even Mum's laughing. Ginny is beaming.

I glance at Angelina who catches my eye for the briefest of seconds.

"He died as he lived. A grin on his face, a laugh in his heart, a joke in his head. He was fighting for what he believed, among his friends and family."

I almost unconsciously touch the hole were my ear was.

"I gave my ear for Voldemort's downfall. Fred gave his life. That's the way the Bertie Bots fall."

Every eye is on me. I push on.

"Fred wouldn't have wanted tears and despair. He would have wanted Laughter, music, firewhiskey. Celebrate the life he had not his end. I finish with this. Fred was so much more than a twin. He was a brother, another half. A part of my heart that will always be there."

I step off the stage. Everywhere there is laughter, there is music drifting from somewhere.

Singing, hugging...

I look at the sun that will rise every day and set every night without fail.

I can feel Fred deep in my heart.

Never Alone.

Never.

I hear a noise behind me, a crack of a twig, a laugh.

I turn around.

For a second I see his face.

My face.

Our face.

He is gone but he's inside me.

And for a second...

I could almost see him smile.


End file.
